Failure At A Father ?

This post is very personal for me as a father of one adult child but also as a African American male who had a great father figure in my step father Ira Jacobs Jr. When my child was born the most important thing to me was providing a better future than I would have so my excuse at the time of not being physically in her life consistently was i have to do what i got to do ? She would understand later when she is grown up why I have never been consistently physically in her life. She will understand I had financial, alcohol, drug and homeless issues and with out me in her life she would be better off. I even came up with the excuse because she is a girl she really didn't need me as much as a boy would but all my excuses and rationalizing was wrong and i realized I was not in her life was because i was selfish and wanted to my own thing. The thing is I realized this when she decided not to talk to me for 4 years and it finally kicked in. Children don't want to know why you are not in there life they just want you in there life with no excuses and I failed that, like many men and especially the majority of us  African American Men. Although she is blessed to be headed to Grad school and we re-established our relationship in the last 3 years she will never forget the times I was not physically there but I had to admit from my heart that i failed her as a father and ask her for forgiveness and she has. We have a long way to go but its never to late for us African American Men who have failed our children to ask for forgiveness and be a consistent presence in our Grandchildren lives. What made me be compelled to write this is when I saw all the young African American Men and Women looting and destroying local businesses in the suburbs of St. Louis over the shooting death of Michael Brown.
My heart broke because I realized us African American Men have failed collectively on raising our children in the right way and to how to direct our anger in to a positive and non violent way. Now some African American Men will be offended about this post, and some will say its because we were slaves and this and that but the bottom line is a child does not care about any of that, they just want us to be consistent physically in there lives and all though I am forgiven by my adult child, I am guilty to the collective for not being a good example on what should a Father be !

One Day At A Time !

One day at a time is not just something that should be a cliche, it should be taken serious, because none of us knows what tomorrow brings. Rich, poor, famous or not, we all have 24 hours a day to take care of our lives.  How we do it and how we balance our responsibilities don't always determine our outcome, sometimes it does but a lot of times it does not. As a business Man I get up thinking I have 24 hours a day just like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet to make my business successful regardless of daily life responsibilities because that is just life period. You can not control everything in your life and when you try or think you do you will be stressed, angry, resentful or worse you will blame everybody about your own bad choices. Often there are many of us dread getting out of bed, going to a job we hate and are angry at the world because we feel we are not happy and we feel our life has no purpose, but we do have a choice on how we look at our lives and choices ? One day at a time should not be just a cliche but a opportunity to be a better person, make better choices and know your purpose in this life, and bottom line, you never have to settle but at least be " Thankful Of What You Got " !