Failure At A Father ?

This post is very personal for me as a father of one adult child but also as a African American male who had a great father figure in my step father Ira Jacobs Jr. When my child was born the most important thing to me was providing a better future than I would have so my excuse at the time of not being physically in her life consistently was i have to do what i got to do ? She would understand later when she is grown up why I have never been consistently physically in her life. She will understand I had financial, alcohol, drug and homeless issues and with out me in her life she would be better off. I even came up with the excuse because she is a girl she really didn't need me as much as a boy would but all my excuses and rationalizing was wrong and i realized I was not in her life was because i was selfish and wanted to my own thing. The thing is I realized this when she decided not to talk to me for 4 years and it finally kicked in. Children don't want to know why you are not in there life they just want you in there life with no excuses and I failed that, like many men and especially the majority of us  African American Men. Although she is blessed to be headed to Grad school and we re-established our relationship in the last 3 years she will never forget the times I was not physically there but I had to admit from my heart that i failed her as a father and ask her for forgiveness and she has. We have a long way to go but its never to late for us African American Men who have failed our children to ask for forgiveness and be a consistent presence in our Grandchildren lives. What made me be compelled to write this is when I saw all the young African American Men and Women looting and destroying local businesses in the suburbs of St. Louis over the shooting death of Michael Brown.
My heart broke because I realized us African American Men have failed collectively on raising our children in the right way and to how to direct our anger in to a positive and non violent way. Now some African American Men will be offended about this post, and some will say its because we were slaves and this and that but the bottom line is a child does not care about any of that, they just want us to be consistent physically in there lives and all though I am forgiven by my adult child, I am guilty to the collective for not being a good example on what should a Father be !