When We Fail As Men ?

I think the first time I felt like a failure is on December 15, 1997 ? On that day, my live in girlfriend, who has my child ( age 6 ) moved to a southern state. My failure to be able to legally take over her lease fell through. The Manager and I agreed that I would take over in November 1997, but he changed his mind with no explanation ? That month, we withheld rent, until he fix our flooded apartment, he fixed it, but he handed me a eviction notice in my name ? I am not on the lease, but did live there. At court he said I was a felon, not true, who stole all of the apartment's contents left by my girlfriend ? Which I did ? I had a written, signed and notarized letter stating, from my girlfriend that she leaves everything in the apartment to me ! The land lord was mad, because he did not get his hands on all that expensive furniture and china dishes ? At that time, she and my child had left Northern California already.  Legally, having no place to live at that time, I moved in to my brothers 2 bedroom apartment with his Wife and 3 kids. !

I remember December 15 so clear, as my girlfriend, daughter and I rode the bus, and Bart to Oakland Airport ! All she had was one big bag, with my child personal belongings, I remember she could not even look at me ? I didn't know, if I personally disappointed her as a Man, but I felt like it ! The decision between her Parents buying her a house if she moves to the south ( Mother's Home ) ! Or she, and my child could move in to a weekly hotel now with me, while I work day labor ? She made the right decision for our child's future, but I felt betrayed because she agreed to the conditions of her Mother ?( Her White adopted Mother from the south, hates Black Men, but she adopted a Black Child half mixed with Thailand ) ? Make sure, Cedric does not have a relationship or know were his child is ? I knew my Daughter would be better off, because her grand parents are rich ( old southern ) money ?
. I agreed reluctantly for my child to leave California, but I never agreed to stay out of her life .
 Never Ever !

I remember my girlfriend and my daughter crying, while boarding for the last time from California. As I watched the plane was in the air as tears streamed my face, before I realized it. My heart sunk and a lump hit my throat, as I ran to the bathroom and threw up crying uncontrollable ! I failed as a Man financially, who was not Man enough to keep his girlfriend and child ! I remember waking up and life as I knew it for eight years, was over, and I was only 31 years old. I was Angry, Depressed and Lost for the next 6 years of my life ! The Worse Feeling For A Man, Is Failing His Family !